Probably the most important thing to put on here, at the beginning, is the story of how we met. When I tell this story to guys, they say, "That's cool." When I tell it to girls, I invariably get a girlish, "Awwwww!" And then its bye bye lunch! I get light-headed and start to halucinate that Hello Kitty is trying to stick chopsticks into my ears.
Anyhow, it all started over seven years ago. Guzel came from Russia as an exchange student to West Jordan High School (er, go Jaguars! . . . or something), and I saw her at a birthday party for a friend. Naturally, I walked up to the cute, exotic-looking exchange student to give her an official welcome:
"Hi! My name's Paul. So, which way does the water swirl when you flush the toilets where you're from?"
I couldn't have made a better impression if I'd had Danielle Steele write it for me and had Fabio pose for the cover! (Wow! Danielle Steele? That's a dated reference. You wouldn't know I was only 25 from reading this. I should watch more TV.)
After dazzling Guzel with my witty conversation, I decided I would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. It would be great! So I checked with my friend, Ashley--with whom Guzel was staying--to see if she had a date yet. She didn't. The stars had aligned, and fate's fickle hand had chosen not to be so . . . fickle . . . yeah!
So the night of the dance, I picked her up and she was wearing this beautiful green dress. I was a bit smitten, to say the least. Unfortunately, Guzel is a bit shy, and it was a bit hard to get her to open up. So we didn't talk very much. I took this as a sign that she wasn't that interested, and (stupid me) after that night, I didn't really talk to her for the rest of the year.
It's now May 2007 (the 14th I think. . . Guzel will kill me for not remembering), and I'm walking into Wal-Mart because . . . well, I'm not sure. Don't we all find ourselves wandering the guilded halls of Wally World at some point--scared, alone and unsure of how we got there?
So I'm walking in through the front doors, take off my sunglasses, and right there--walking towards me between the Red Box and the blue-haired lady greeting people with her last shred of sanity--was Guzel. I shook it off. It couldn't be her! She's in Russia. Then she waved at me and smiled. I was still in disbelief, kept walking and thought to myself "The sun must be playing tricks on my eyes." But then I remembered I was indoors, and that if I didn't at least find out if it was Guzel, I'd regret it.
So I flip-flopped as fast as I could back out the store and after the cute Russian mirage. I caught up with her and took her to dinner and a movie. We spent pretty much every day together after that. We got married on the 21st of September, 2007 and we're happy as clams.
And now my brother Phil has challenged me to a Dr. Mario duel and it's time for me to throw down. Das Vadanya!